Every Thursday I go in to see my therapist, but she never tells me anything that past doctors haven't and she treats me like a 5-year-old when I'm going to be 17 soon. I try and tell her about my body dysmorphia and anxiety and depression but all she wants to talk about is my relationship with my abusive mother and I told her from the very start there is no way to improve the relationship and that I'm just going to move out when I'm 18, but she wants to fix that before anything else and I keep trying to get a new therapist, but I can't find anyone else. She also keeps trying to make me take Zoloft and I told her no that with my history and hospital stays while on it I never want to take it again. I just feel trapped in my current situation and my parents have so much dirt on me that isn't even really dirt. Like they keep threatening to out me and my little sister to the rest of our homophobic family even though they only know that we're bi (me) and pan (lil sis) because they went through our phones before we could delete everything. My body dysmorphia, social anxiety, and depression just continue to get worse to the point where I'm failing classes because I have no motivation. They completely locked me down so I can barely talk to my friends because everyone on the internet is a big bad wolf only there to harm you and online friends are sexual predators waiting to pounce. They told me they won't let me do stuff online is because they don't want to be known as the parents who let their kid get kidnapped. Not because they don't want me to get hurt but because they don't want to be seen as bad parents. It's just so fucked and I can even do anything about it because if I try my parents will only completely invalidate my claims and hurt me even more physically and emotionally. I just have to wait a year and a half to turn 18 and leave but I don't know how to cope with all my mental issues in order to be a functioning member of society.
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Shit... all I can say is Godspeed. I hope you and your sister make it out better than before and never fall back down again because of everyone else.
Repent, Jesus is the only worthwhile
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Therapist
Seek Jesus and start pumping iron, therapists are fake and gay and just a ploy to get your brain numb on drugs, stop jerking off too
The reason ur therapist wants u to better your relationship wiht ur mom is because most of the people who had a toxic relationship with their mom/dad dont tend to move on. Its important moving on then youll get helped with your body dysmorphia. I know it may be hard forgviving your mother/dad but in the end we have to. THink of it as being chained, the only dirfferance is that you have the key next to you (key being forgiveness) all you need to do i accept. You have all the reason to be mad wiht your mom. But like i said if you dont move on you wont be able to move on with ur greatest problem, that being ur body dysmorphia. good luck dudette.
Could you elaborate on your experience with zoloft?